I  often found with my students, especially the older ones, that the books they were most interested in were the ones that talked about issues that related to them in a realistic, often gritty way.  I sometimes worried that the books my kids were reading might teach them things I didn’t want them to know!  At the same time, I knew it was important for teens to read and talk about real life issues.

In writing thinandbeautiful.com, I had to work hard to find a balance between creating an interesting story with realistic characters and making sure that I had done my “homework” in researching the topic responsibly,..my students will love the idea that I had to do all that research…revenge for all of the research I made them do! I also wanted to make it clear that I am terribly concerned about the potential dangers of the pro-ana and thinpiration sites that so many young people are visiting…without sounding too much like a mom.    I worried alot about even talking about these sites….it was hard to figure out how to write about something that I felt needed to be exposed and discussed while at the same time wanting to make it clear that I didn’t think anyone should be visiting them. 

What do you, the young adult audience, think about the influence of  novels on controversial topics such as eating disorders, or teen violence, teen pregnancy, drug use and the many other topics that are addressed in YA literature today?

(for more comments and discussion on this topic, visit “Words from the Author”)

www.polyvore.com

A few years ago, one of my intermediate students came to me very upset.  She was crying as she told me that several students were teasing her for being too thin.  They were calling her names.  One of the names they were calling her was “anorexic”.  She was extremely hurt and I couldn’t help thinking that it was rather ironic that someone could be teased for being thin in a society that seems to value being thin above all other body types.  It seems that any body type is fair game.

It also really bothered me to hear that the term “anorexic” was being used as an insult, with some kind of implication that everyone who is thinner than “average” has to be suffering from an eating disorder.  We seem to have moved from almost no one knowing what anorexia was back in my day, to the word being used too loosely.   It’s important to understand that anorexia is a very serious, sometimes life threatening, condition.   Not everyone who is “thin” is anorexic and to be made fun of for a thinner than “average” body is just as devastating as the opposite…something I think we forget sometimes.   To better understand what an eating disorder is, and isn’t, this link brings you to a page that is directed to students in a way that makes the topic clear.

  http://www.sheenasplace.org/index.php?page=for_students

Dealing with peer comments about your body can be one of the most difficult tasks in the struggle for self confidence.  My daughter told me that she deals with negative comments from peers by telling herself that the person is jealous.  What do you do to cope?

This is one of my favourite songs.  Take a listen and remember that it’s true for us all! (any guys reading can just remember that they can be phenomenal too!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkdfdC__EvA

I was standing in line at the grocery store where my attention was split between the candy rack, with its tempting array of empty calories, and the magazine rack, with its not so tempting array of empty promises.  These are the actual headlines that screamed out at me….LOSE A POUND A DAY!  SHAPE YOUR BOD! BLAST AWAY STOMACH FAT!  LOSE YOUR BUTT!  We’ve all seen these everywhere and it isn’t surprising that, according to the Canadian Media Awareness site, “over three-quarters of the covers of women’s magazines include at least one message about how to change a woman’s bodily appearance—by diet, exercise or cosmetic surgery.”

http://www.media-awareness.ca/english/issues/stereotyping/women_and_girls/women_beauty.cfm

It’s not only magazines as we all know.  These ads are everywhere.  While researching this blog, I was reading some really helpful information on a site promoting body image awareness, when suddenly a picture popped up at the side of the screen.  An animated picture, no less, of a woman holding her stomach and squeezing her flesh while the words “Click Here to Find Out How to Get Rid of Unsightly Stomach Flab” flashed above her.    I tried hard not to look at it and didn’t “click” on it in spite of the invitation, but it was a challenge.

It would be nice if we could just decide not to look, but that would basically mean keeping our eyes closed all of the time.  Since that isn’t very practical, I guess we have to try to find a way to figure out what to believe and what to ignore.  Filtering out all of the masses of messages can be almost impossible.   The site  ABIDE has some practical suggestions for becoming a “critical viewer of the media“…in other words, how to look at it in a way that makes us remember that we aren’t reading facts…that most of the media hype is fantasy not reality and that holding onto a realistic self image is possible if you can find a way to take it all “with a grain of salt”, as my grandmother used to say.  It also has other information as well on topics related to body image and eating issues.

http://wrrc.ucdavis.edu/ABIDE/media.html

What do you do to filter your way through all of the media hype and still feel OK about yourself?

“When will my reflection show who I am inside?” 

 (“Reflection” written and produced by Matthew Wilder and David Zippel)

One of the characteristics of someone with an eating disorder can be the distorted image he or she sees when looking into a mirror.  The larger than life person looking back at them often doesn’t look anything like what, or who,  the rest of the world sees.  I still have days when I could swear I look ten pounds heavier than I did the day before, or even the hour before!  I think this is something that happens to lots of people without eating disorders also.  Anyone who is worried about how they look can stare in that mirror and dwell on all of those  surface things that seem to be less than perfect until the image  is no more real than the one you see in those strange “fun house” mirrors that twist you up into bizarre shapes and sizes.  

Maybe some of the problem is that the images we see, and that we base our idea of perfection on, are really the distorted ones.  The perfect models and celebs we see on billboards and magazines and everywhere else in the media make it hard to look in the mirror sometimes.  My daughter showed me this video quite a while ago, and I”m sure lots of you have seen it, but it’s worth another look.  It’s called Model Evolution with Makeup and Photoshop - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcFlxSlOKNI.   And I don’t think the video is telling us we all need to run out and buy a bunch of makeup and hair products before hiring a makeover team either…it might be saying that those models we envy might be seeing someone very different when they look into their own mirrors first thing in the morning!

 The video was posted by the Dove company…http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.ca/flat2.asp?id=6960…not that I’m advertising for them but they seem to be one of the few companies trying to move away from impossible and unrealistic images of false perfection.   Their website is filled with positive body image articles and opportunities for discussion and participation in the drive to improve the overall perception of our reflections.

I haven’t seen too many other companies  joining the fight.  Does anyone have any other examples of media trying to help us see ourselves for the beautiful people we really are

 

 

 

We live in a world where body image and self image seem to have become so tangled up together that we can’t figure out where one ends and the other one starts.  Feeling badly about how you look can take over your whole life and make you feel like less of a person inside as well.  It works the other way around as well sometimes.  Feeling badly about who you are can make you decide that you don’t like the way you look anymore either.   

 The site  TEENSHEALTH at http://kidshealth.org/teen/ manages to define body image and self image in a way that makes sense.

“I’m fat. I’m too skinny. I’d be happy if I were taller, shorter, had curly hair, straight hair, a smaller nose, bigger muscles, longer legs.

Do any of these statements sound familiar? Are you used to putting yourself down? If so, you’re not alone. As a teen, you’re going through a ton of changes in your body. And as your body changes, so does your image of yourself. Lots of people have trouble adjusting, and this can affect their self-esteem…

Self-esteem is all about how much people value themselves, the pride they feel in themselves, and how worthwhile they feel.

Body image is how someone feels about his or her own physical appearance.“

This site provides information on all kinds of teen issues.   Even better, there are some very practical suggestions for helping find your way through the confusion of figuring out how to feel OK about yourself.   For example, the section on  Tips for Improving Your Body Image has some easy suggestions that you can try right away, like finding three good things to compliment yourself about each day.  

I think I’m going to try a few of those tips myself!